KillerApp

The End column, the Australian Industry Standard
Issue 12, 23 October 2000
by Neale Morison

Welcome to the KillerApp web site. Speed up your downloads with this free applet.

Sounds interesting. Wonder if it works? Download.

Contacting download site...please wait. If your download does not start, click here.
Downloading KillerApp Download Companion.
Save it to disk
Run this program from its current location

Ah, what the hell. Run this program from its current location.

63K to download at 2.3 Kbps.
Download complete.
Installing KillerApp Download Companion.
KillerApp Download Companion installed.
Would you like to view the readme file?
Run KillerApp Download Companion now?

At least it was quick. Let's see what happens. Run.

Please wait while KillerApp Download Companion contacts KillerApp Korporation.
This may take a few minutes.
Free KillerApp version 7 beta 2.1 available! Download now!
Get your free update / Remind me later.

Remind me later.

All right, all right. Get your free update.

KillerApp Download Companion will now contact KillerApp Korporation to download and install new software.
OK.

OK, OK. I said OK.

Downloading at 1.2 KB/second.
KillerApp Millennium Installer Component.
Estimated time left 34:27:47 34:27:46 34:27:45 . . .

34 hours? That can't be right. Where's the cancel button? Nothing for it, I'll have to reboot.

. . .

That's better. Wait! What's that?

KillerApp Download Companion resuming download.
Estimated time left 32:43:03 32:43:02 32:43:01 . . .

Oh no! This can't be happening. Ah, I'll let it finish and get rid of it later. . . .

Preparing to install KillerApp Millennium.
Welcome to the KillerApp Millennium setup program.

Hey, wait a minute!

This setup program will install KillerApp Millennium on your computer.
Installation and user of the KillerApp Millennium requires acceptance of the following terms and conditions:
KillerApp Korporation End User Licence Agreement
Redistribution not permitted.
Software Licence for certain KillerApp Products . . .
Yes / OK / Next / Accept

What about No? What about I don't want to? What about Bugger Off? Um, Accept.

Installing KillerApp onto your hard drive.
OK / Cancel.

Right that's it. That's enough. Cancel.

Setup is not complete.
If you quit the setup program now, the program will not be installed.
This may result in irreparable damage to your operating system, your computer hardware, your prospects for future happiness, and your DNA.
To continue installing click Resume. To quit the Setup program, and risk total existential annihilation, click Self Destruct.
Self Destruct / Resume.

Is this serious? Gee, I don't want my DNA damaged. Resume.

Installing KillerApp. Copying files ... Configuring system ... Removing files... Copying files... Configuring system... Removing system... Copying files...
You must restart your computer to complete the KillerApp installation.
Do you want to restart your computer now?
Yes / No.

Oh my. Oh no. Better restart now. At least I'm mentally prepared now. Yes.

Please wait while KillerApp closes down all applications and replaces your operating system.

. . .

Welcome to the KillerApp Millennium desktop, your portal to KillerApp Korporation products, online services and licence monitoring. Reconfiguring . . .
Removing applications from other manufacturers
Installing KillerApp applications
Registering KillerApp applications online for immediate invoicing
Processing email folders
Processing personal files
Uploading processed data to KillerApp Korporation infobase

Oh my God! Where's the cable? Where is it? There! It's out.

Data upload complete. You are currently working offline. Would you like to go online now?
Yes / No.

No.

You are currently working offline. Would you like to go online now? Yes / No.

No. Won't.

KillerApp strongly advises that you go online now. Would you like to go online now?
Yes /

No. Stuff you.

Attempting to cancel scheduled publishing of personal data on KillerApp Korporation server. Unable to connect to server. Personal data will be published in 10 seconds. 9. 8. 7 . . .

Ok, Ok. It's back in.

Publishing of personal data rescheduled pending good behaviour. Welcome to our reality.

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